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 Post subject: One Liners
PostPosted: Sun Nov 24, 2013 9:31 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jul 02, 2006 10:52 pm
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Location: Mobile, AL
In the movie "Bernie'"

"He doesn't know anything about hunting. He can't tell a duck blind from an outhouse."

And on public radio's "The People's Pharmacy" a physician, when speaking of another individual he thought to be way off base, said "He is one taco short of a combo plate."

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Dallas Baillio
2001 26RSB
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 11:17 am 
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Joined: Fri Dec 23, 2005 8:07 am
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Location: Crystal River, FL
How about... 'a few fries short of a happy meal'


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 12:09 pm 
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Location: Mobile, AL
Let's try to keep it going.

On the other side claiming you are not as dumb as assumed a city commissioner from Mobile, AL said:

"I didn't come in on the last hay wagon."

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Dallas Baillio
2001 26RSB
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 5:06 pm 
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Location: Southeastern New York
What we say about our youngest dog, Tonto, who ain't too bright:

"Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier"

"Not the sharpest knife in the drawer"

And, no, my avatar is NOT Tonto. That's Shiloh, who is rather bright.

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Joe and Lucinda
Tonto, Meadow and Shadow, the papillons
Shiloh and Morpho at Rainbow Bridge
2017 Spirit
Formerly 2006 24RB


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 9:44 pm 
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Location: Mobile, AL
"He/She is one brick shy of a load."

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Dallas Baillio
2001 26RSB
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 10:00 pm 
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Location: Mobile, AL
I know I shouldn't but I have little self control.

One from the Internet:

...Two vampires walked into a bar and called for the bartender. "I'll have a glass of blood," said one. "I'll have a glass of plasma", said the other. "Okay," replied the bartender, "that'll be one blood and one blood lite..."

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Dallas Baillio
2001 26RSB
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 10:04 pm 
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Location: Mobile, AL
And one more:

A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything."

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Dallas Baillio
2001 26RSB
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 10:14 pm 
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Location: Mobile, AL
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Dallas Baillio
2001 26RSB
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 6:46 am 
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Location: Southeastern New York
OK. What is an apathetic, dyslexic agnostic? Someone who doesn't care whether or not there is a Dog.

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Joe and Lucinda
Tonto, Meadow and Shadow, the papillons
Shiloh and Morpho at Rainbow Bridge
2017 Spirit
Formerly 2006 24RB


Last edited by shilohdad on Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 8:38 am 
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Location: Mobile, AL
OK Joe,

Another along your line,

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

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Dallas Baillio
2001 26RSB
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Last edited by Dallas Baillio on Tue Nov 26, 2013 8:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 8:50 am 
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Location: Mobile, AL
Oh well, I can't stop...so,

People are choosing cremation over traditional burial. It shows that they are thinking out of the box.

Weather or not you like these a low has now passed. I'll bet you can tell I made that one up. :lol:

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Dallas Baillio
2001 26RSB
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 8:54 am 
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Location: Mobile, AL
I try to pick and choose so this one was too good to pass up.

A hungry traveler stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies

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Dallas Baillio
2001 26RSB
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 26, 2013 6:50 pm 
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Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2005 4:08 pm
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Location: Orlando, FL, Area
A principal asked an obstreperous student, "Are you ignorant or are you apathetic?"
The student replied, "I don't know and I don't care!"

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Dean and Jan Preston
2013 24-ft Rear Bath
2014 Chevrolet Equinox LS AWD


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 11:16 pm 
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Location: Mobile, AL
Just in time for Christmas:

Rudolph Button was a long time member of the Communist Party. One day sitting at home with his wife he looked out the window and saw it had begun to lightly rain. "Looks like it is beginning to rain" he said. His wife replied that it looked like a clear day to her. He replied "You must need glasses, Rudolph the Red knows rain dear."

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Dallas Baillio
2001 26RSB
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 Post subject: Not too bright
PostPosted: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:05 pm 
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Posts: 231
Location: Polson, Montana
Not running on all cylinders.
One short of a 6 pack.
Not playing with a full deck.

And I too have one not too bright dog. NOT the Papillons....Ho! they are devious geniuses. It's the Other One..... the rescued Longhair Chihuahua. Odie, the shelter dog. He's "different". He does figure things out after awhile, and when he does, he is so happy with himself. It's a little sad, but a lot endearing. And am I delusional, or can I tell what they are thinking by the look on their faces?

Oh, yeah, this is a joke thread. Anyone know the 3 legged pig or not?

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1992 26' RSB
2008 Papillon named Emmett
1984 Honda GL1200 Standard
2008 Kawasaki Concours 14
2010 Kawasaki KLX250S


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