Born Free Leap'n Lions RV Club Info & Discussion Forum

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

OMG, THAT one made me burst out laughing...

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

I have a feeling I should go into the witness protection program. Some of you may be tracking me down with murder on your mind

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

I used to do the Hokey Pokey but then I turned myself around.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

Mitch Hedburg

Mitch Hedburg was a very funny comedian who died in 2005 of a drug overdose. I'll add more of his jokes from time to time.

Here is another by Mitch Hedburg. His routines are on You Tube and an Internet search will find many, many of his one-liners. Be aware that he uses a lot of profanity. Few, if any of his jokes. are sexual however. I've removed the profanity from this one.

I think Pringles' original intention was to make tennis balls... but on the day the rubber was supposed to show up a truckload of potatoes came. Pringles is a laid-back company, so they just said, "Cut em up!"

And, one more:

When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was.

I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait."

I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run, he's fuzzy, get out of here.

If I was on death row and given one last meal I would ask for a fortune cookie. "Come on 'long prosperous life!'"

Mitch Hedberg

Protect your bagels. Put lox on them.

I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having its motives questioned.

That's not an oil leak, it's just marking its territory.